Loud Static and other Scary Things
by TheMysteriousAuthoress
Summary: The third season's finale goes a little differently than expected. And the fans must face what they dread most... static, budget cuts, and other monstrosities. But what parts were staticed out? Hopefully, not the love confessions... R


New Notes; Well I've been on an editing tangent! Therefore, I decided to redo this one too.

I left the original notes up; I couldn't bear to see them go! Besides, they offer important information.

The full summary for this chapter is:

The third season's finale goes a little differently than expected. And the fans must face what they dread most... static, budget cuts, and GROSS alternate pairings happening. How will the number one fan handle it and what parts were staticed out? Hopefully, not the love confessions... snigger

**Stephanie has most recently gotten an account under the penname of Aangsfangirl1214**. Check her out!

I say "the end of season three" because that is when they are going to face the big Bad Fire lord. So, that means I can screw up season four too!

**Original Author's notes; **

**Happy belated birthday Stephanie! This is your birthday AND Christmas present.**

So all I have to say is this is an Avatar fan's worst nightmare. It's much worse than Zokka, Zaang or Saang.

In Angstlovers's case, it's worse than canceling Naruto and yaoi becoming illegal; which it technically is for her… -Grins like the Cheshire cat people compare me to.-

Feel free to review and I mean feel free.

**MERRY CHRSTMAS EVERYONE!!!!**

-Drum Roll-

We Now Interrupt You for Loud Static!!

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This was it. Aang had defeated the fire lord and restored peace. Zuko was the new Fire lord and he promised a permanent alliance with the other nations. It was time for the gaaang to split up and go their separate ways. It was time…for goodbye.

"Aang…." Katara began, "I'm going to mi-"

WE NOW INTERRUPT YOU FOR LOUD STATIC

Static covered the screen.

"-ss you too Katara. But you and Sokka need to get Toph and Sokka together before you go find your father! And I need to protect the world." Her azule, deep, lovely, rimmed by dark lashes, color of the sea, and wild, passionate eyes filled with glistening, crystal, pure tears.

"But I don't want you to leave me! Aang I nee-"

STATIC WILL ROCK YOUR WORLD!!!

The joyous dance of static continued on from where it left off.

"I know…. I feel the same."

They sat in silence until Aang broke it by saying, "Katara before I go I need to tell you something… We've been together for about a year now. We've been traveling together, cried together, played together, fought, laughed and… loved together. What I mean is well Katara I umm, well…I lo-"

WE NOW INTERRUPT YOU FOR LOUD STATIC!

The sacred movement known as 'static' or 'snow' covered the characters and their setting.

"-e you too Aang."

Katara looked deeply into Aang's stormy, gray, gorgeous, dark, I'm-using-too-many-adjectives-for-a-guy's-eyes eyes.

"Oh Aang…" Katara whispered, as they moved towards each other. Their faces dipped downwards to connect at the lips and their eyes gently closing. They grew closer and closer together until their lips were about to touc-

LOUD STATIC BABY!

The crackling was deafening.

They pulled apart gazing deeply into each other's eyes. An understanding passed between the two lovers.

"Please Aang…. Just this once let me show you how much I care with m-my body. I want to remember you as the man I love with all my heart with whom I could only have one night," she whispered ending her long-winded rant for sex archaically.

Aang smiled before nodding and pulling Katara close for a deep, passionate ki-

DO THE STATIC!!!

Static and eighty's music played.

"Who's yo' daddy?" Katara whipped Aang on the ass again with her water whip.

"I SAID who's yo' daddy?"

"I DON'T have a daddy! I'm a monk!" She smacked him again.

"WHO'S YO GODDAMNED DADDY?!"

"YOU ARE!!! AHHHHHHH KATARA!!!"

"AANNNGGG!!"

"OOOOOOOHH KATARA!!"

Katara and Aang were soulfully exploring each other dedicating it to memory. They were gentle and quiet trying to make it last as long as it could. However, they could just be screwing each other's brains out.

I JUST REMEMBERED THIS SITE DOESN'T ALLOW PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL SO I'LL COVER IT UP WITH

STATIC commenced to cover up the loud sounds of kinky, crazy sex and to stop any tainting of young minds.

Not to go into detail and thus violate the new story rules but there was clothing thrown randomly through the clearing. Some appeared to be ripped and most was destroyed. Katara and Aang were naked and sweaty beneath a blanket.

"Wow…" Katara panted as she was out of breath from their "gentle" lovemaking, "that was amazing…"

Aang agreed. "I could get used to that." Katara turned to face him.

"You can, you will! Aang I'll never leav-"

WE NOW INTERRUPT YOU FOR LOUD STATIC!!

What else happened? Let the static finish and you will see.

"-gther forever Katara because I lo-"

STATIC STATIC STATIC STATIC YEAH!!!!!

Static, thou art quite the interrupter.

"-you and I want to marr-"

IT'S TIME FOR THE STATIC RAP!!

Static and provocatively dressed women dancing filed over Katara's and Aang's naked, yucky bodies.

"And start a fam-"

Hey guess what? STATIC!!

Ain't it pretty?

"-We'll always be stressed out and never have time for se-

STATIC IS A FRIEND OF MINE HE RESEMBLES FRANKENSTEIN!

Naturally, the static cut into Aang's monologue.

"-so we'll abuse the children and tell them it's their fault we're in pain an-

BORNNN FREEE AS FREE AS THE STATIC!

"-call them a passel of brats-

Impatiently Katara replied, "Well then shut up and we can get started on that passel of brats again!"

"Hell yeah," Aang laughed. He pulled the blanket down and –

OH STATIC STATIC STATIC!

Oh static we love you.

Toph exhaled loudly and tried to stop any tears that may surface. Too bad, she would never see Sokka. There would be no face to go with a name and general craziness. This was it; she was going to the next Earth bending village and he was going to find his father.

"Sokka …. Well even though you're a complete idiot I-"

"Yeah…. Hey!!!"

"SHUT UP AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT I LO-"

(And even now we bring you static!)

"-you too Toph even if you can't appreciate my sexiness." Toph frowned.

"Since you feel the same I don't have to use the shackles or tazer gun but for that…"

_Rippppppppp_

"Hey my good shirt!"

"You're mine now!" Toph jumped on the area where she felt Sokka.

"KATARA! DADDY SAVE MEEEE….. Oh that feels goooodddd. N-never mind guys I'm good you don't need to" He paused to pant. "Yuusss Toph! No need to s-save me anymore. I'm ok now."

FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH WE BRING YOU STATIC!!

"Oh. My. God. My clothes; they're completely ruined!! I would've just taken them off if you had asked nicely!"

"Sorry…." Toph replied sheepishly as she rubbed her toe into the ground.

"Now get me out of these handcuffs!"

Katara woke up to the sound of screaming for help and then something to the effect of "SOKKKKAAAA!!!"

"TOPPPHHHHH!!!"

"YUS YUS YESSSSSS DON'T STOP!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Good," she thought, "_They had angry and partially nonconsensual sex and now they're together fo'eva! So I can sleep_."

She proceeded to dropping her head onto a snoring, drooling Aang's shoulder. Her final thought before sleep was "_These Pine Needles sure are itchy."_

"I can't find the key!" Sokka began to freak out and tried to maneuver into a sitting position. He could not however because he was tied and chained to the ground in a spread eagle position.

"Untie my legs and I can look for it!" Toph then opened her unseeing eyes out of reflex and saw.

She was giddy; she had discovered the cure for blindness; hard-core bondage sex!

"Sokka the pureness of our-

STATIC!

"-and the depth of our"

STATIC

"-see again! Now I can look upon your face and see my-

STATIC BECAUSE OF OVER USE OF FLUFF!!

"-honeybunch snuggle bear!"

"Toph it must suck to be blind because I can see my-

STATIC

- poopykins whenever I want!"

And so Toph looked upon Sokka's "glory." There he was and he was-

"AHHHH OH MY GOD MY EYES!! IT BURNS!! HAVE MERCY UPON ME!!! Help me someone! End my pain," she bended a large rock and held it over her head ready to die when, "…Oh thank God I'm blind again."

"Well your ears are too big!!"

"You are so lucky I didn't see you before I fell-

STATIC

"-ve with you."

At this point, everyone finished their attempts at conceiving children.

Katara picked off the pine needles, Sokka got new clothing, and Toph got the appropriate amount of therapy and drugs for her emotional scarring.

Sokka is a little scary looking sometimes and Toph was a little 'impatient' about the whole take off clothes thing. Katara well she DID "make a passel of brats" on the ground; she sort of deserved it.

Then they all set off, you know, on adventures and such.

Eventually, Katara and Aang had many children. We're talking abstinence was not considered at ANY point.

"Yo! Lil' Chip Lil' Kim, Lil' Katara, Lil' Jon, Lil' Bow Wow Wow Wow, Lil' Aang Jr., Lil' Jacque get yo asses in hurre!!!"

"What? What? Okkkk Lil' Jon!!!" rapped Lil' Jon as he held up his fancy cup that was always with him.

"We know you're Lil' Jon."

"Lil' Jon!!!!"

"I wish you weren't like Sokka…."

"LIL' JON!!"

Sokka and Toph also had children. Seriously, abstinence is not a major element in this plot.

"WEEEEEEEE I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!! Weeeeee I'm flying!!!! I'm fly-THUD!"

Sokka jr. had inherited a personality like his father's (Sokka had accidentally dropped him on his had as a child) and his mother's blindness. A deadly combination.

Together the under-aged, and teenage, parents watched their children play, fall and act stupid. Of course, it was a beautiful field with a tall tree and a sunset in the background.

Katara looked over at Aang, her dearest husband whom she did not remember marrying but was sure those nice "fangirls" would not lie about such an event.

"Aang?"

"Yes Katara?"

"I lo-"

Thirty seconds from the end of the show and bad weather now brings you…STATIC!!)

The static danced across their faces effectively blurring out both Aang's words and both of their actions.

They both moved in for a loving ki-

FIVE SECONDS FROM THE END OF THE SHOW AND THERE MUST BE-Static.

"-more than you'll ever know."

The screen then reads in cursive writing "The End."

Then there was a message from the sponsors. "We thank you for watching the last episode of _Avatar: The Last AirBender _Because of a budget cut and unforeseen changes in said budget Nickelodeon can never play this episode again! YAY!!!"

"_This was in part sponsored by Trojan! Just because the main characters of Avatar; the Last AirBender don't use condoms doesn't mean you prepubescent children shouldn't!_"

Stephanie AKA Aangsfangirl1214 sat open mouthed on the couch staring at the ending credits. She had pictured the end of season three as more…touching.

"Stephanie honey? You've been crying for three weeks now. I think you need to, you know –eat, sleep, shower- and try to let go of Avatar's ending. The crushing feeling of never truly knowing the ending of season three that fan fictions can't fill, the empty hole in your heart that will never be filled, and the horrendous pain; That awful horrendous pain, the horrible, undeterminable-in-length wait for season four's release."

"WHYYYYYYYYYYY??!!!!!!!!!!" She was never the same again.

After all, season four was not coming out for six months, twenty-three days, forty-five minutes and twelve point two five seconds.

Fin (for now…..)

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Ok children I am so sorry I forgot the part with "I believe I can fly!!" is a joke from a story I wrote before this one. I guess you'll have to pay attention to my updates if you really want to understand….. -Grins-

Thank you for reading and if you check up occasionally you'll see the story with the "I believe I can fly!!!" joke. Merry Christmas and this is also a gift to you reviewers! Notice I said _reviewers_. Hehehehe….

**New author's notes; **Please click that cute purple button down there! If you scroll, you can add me or this story to your favorites and alerts! You can even write what you think about my ideas and me! That would make TMA happy.

By the way, look at Aangsfangirl1214's work. She's in my favorites and she will probably be one of the first reviews on this.


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